Sunday, September 28, 2008

I didn't do it.

That is Mom's arm.  I'm sure you all think I did that to her, however, it was not me!  That's right, it was Steve!


Here's how it played out (according to Mom):
Setting: Mom's laying on the bed watching TV.  Steve is laying at the foot of the bed.  Steve is chewing on his dew claw.
Mom: Steve, do you want to go for a walk?
Steve: Woo, woo, woo!
Steve jumps up and goes to woo in Mom's face.  Steve steps on Mom's arm, scratching her arm.
Mom: Ouch!  Steve, be careful.  You cut my arm.
Steve looks at Mom.
Mom: Oh, Stevie, it's okay, I know it was an accident!

Now, this is how I think it went.
Setting: Mom is laying on the bed watching TV.  Steve is laying at the food of the bed.  Steve is chewing on his dew claw, sharpening it to a sharp point as he thinks about his anger that Mom didn't let him eat all 24 cupcakes.  (Side note, Steve stole 8 cupcakes off the counter a couple days ago.)
Mom: Steve do you want to go for a walk?
Steve: Woo, woo, woo! (Translation: Yes but first you will pay for not give me all the cupcakes.)
Steve jumps up and slashes Mom's arm with his newly sharpened dew claw.  The slash goes to the bone, spewing blood everywhere.
Mom: Ouch!  Steve, be careful!  You cut my arm.
Steve looks at Mom.
Mom: Steve, if I didn't love you tons more than I love Wilbur, I would be really mad at you right now, but because I live in a dream world where you are such a cute furry beast and I can't see you for what you really are, I will say it was an accident and rub your tummy now.

Do you see what an unfair world I live in?  If I had caused that scratch, Mom would have said "No Wilbur!" and shut me out of the bedroom.  But because that stupid boy furry beast did it, she's all lovey dovey to him.  It makes me so angry.  I should claw her other arm for good measure.

Meow,
Wilbur

21 comments:

Khyra The Siberian Husky said...

...you didn't do it THIS time -

...the NEXT time YOU will be the khulprit!

..and the NEXT time and the NEXT time and etc-

HEY, when a Sibe gets excited, we just lose all khontrol of our parts!

Hugz&Khysses,
Khyra

Randi Lyn A. said...

Now Wilbur,

First of all, our claws don't retract. So if Steve got all excited and accidentally scratched his Mom's arm, it wasn't his fault. It was his Mom's fault for not allowing him minimum safe distance after announcing the walk.

On the other hand, if your claws are out and someone gets hurt, it's your fault. But if your claws aren't out, it's a soft "bat-bat-bat". We huskies don't have that option.

WOOOOO woo rar rar rar,
Kayla and Maebe

Cyber-sibes Star and Jack said...

Oh yeah, yeah, sure, sure, Wilbur... woo are just jealous because we sibes have hypnotic powers, & humans fall completely in love with us! Next thing you know, she'll probably GIVE Steve a cupcake cause she feels guilty for getting her arm in the way of his dew claw!

Wooos, & a-roos,
Sibes rule!
Star & Jack a-roo

the 4 Bs said...

Steve is innocent.

Wilbur is guilty.

that's life.

woofs.

Tracey and Huffle said...

Steve is taking advantage of you, Wilbur. I'm thinking it's time you scratched his nose or something.

Huffle Mawson, Honorary Husky and Explorer Cat

The Thundering Herd said...

But, Wilbur, Sibes are all cute and innocent - just ask us! Steve did not mean to do it!

The Daily Echo said...

Woo. I think I need more evidence to come to a conclusion.
ECHO
Pee S: Are there any cupcakes left???

Shelby said...

Wilbur,
I think you should scratch her arm and legs. I believe that your story is the correct one. Your mom would make it sound better for steve. Stupid dogs

Moco said...

That is quite the scratch that Steve gave your mom. It does seem unfair that you are not treated the same. Did you get any of the cupcakes? Why did no one notice that he had eaten so many and not shared with you? Maybe a good scratch on something would make you feel better.
That looks like a nice trip to Leavenworth. Did you stay home a plot evil while they were all gone.

The OP Pack said...

We think Mom just walked into one of those trees in your backyard. Steve is innocent.

Woos, the OP Pack

Biloxi and Siber-sibs said...

Wese know Steve didn't mean to do it? Can't you see how innocent we are whens you looks into our be-woo-tiful eyes.
Bet your Maw snuck him an extra cupcake whilest you wasn't lookin'.

Biloxi

Thor and Marco Polo and 3 Kats said...

Meow Meow Wilbur

OH No - we feel your pain! You have it right - Our Mom is the same way.
Purrs
Mama, MrSippi and Carolina
(neglected and unloved in Iowa)

The Army of Four said...

Hmm... I think maybe Kat might be more impartial. What does she have to say about this?
Tail wags,
Storms

Booker the Treeing Walker said...

Booker spilled his water bowl ALL OVER last night, and H-Mom was stepping over one river and slipped on another one. BAM. Down she went, slamming her head into the wall. Thank goodness it wasn't too serious, and Booker was very concerned and EMPATHETIC ... which is a good quality in a dog when the humans are in pain or trouble or sad. All was forgiven ...

Snowball said...

LOL! Wilbur,I think we dogs are always thought to be more loyal to their hooman than kitties so it difficult to think that we, good canines, will ever seek revenge in their hooman for their wrong doing. I dun think your mum buy your story, right? That is why Steve gets tummy rubs instead of being chased out of the room... hee hee...

Luv
Snowball

Sitka, Tia, & Cornelia Marie said...

Wilber... Mom said that Sitka has done the same thing to her with her dew claw. She is thankful that CM doesn't have those.
Meow,
Tia

Maverick the Pirate said...

Harrrrrr Steve
You are not to blame for this It is yer moms fault for putting her arm where you could scratch it Harrrrr. Wilbur is just mad becouse he is a cat Harrrrr.
Cap'n Maverick the Pirate

Bumpass Hounds said...

lbur,
You are soooooo right. The dogs get away with murder around here. If we step out out of line - BAM! Well, maybe not Jenny, she's Mom's favorite and gets away with murder like the dogs. Let Us, Alex and Boru knock a little something off the counter - BAM. Let us take alittle taste of mom's dinner when see's busy doing something besides eating - BAM. The dogs get BIG bowls of food but us - noooo, here's a little pile of fishy hardtack. Yuck. You are so right Wilbur, the people just rationalize the canione behavior.
- Alex, Boru & Jenny from The Bumpass Hounds

Simcha said...

Wilbur,

are you the red headed stepchild in this family?

Simcha

PS I hope your mom's arm feels better soon.

Kathryn and Ari said...

Ouch! Good thing mom is so understanding.

-The Mullin Clan's Mommy- said...

You need a video camera on to capture what really happened fur the next time! That is one angry lookin scratch! Takes good care of yur mommy.

-da boys, Cosmos & Juneau-